This morning I was late to class, but it turned out for the best, I think. In my mad dash across campus I witnessed an interesting occurrence, a cyclist got hit by the on-campus bus. Don't worry, everyone was fine, although I feel bad for the poor bike! (but hey, I have a bike thing...) Anyway, after this collision the bus driver leaned out his window to yell at the cyclist "next time, look first, okay?!" to which the cyclist looked somewhat confused and perhaps even a little angry, I mean, cut him some slack he just got hit by a bus, for goodness sake!
Fast-forward, or back, or something, time is somewhat irrelevant, I suppose. Anyway, I've been thinking a lot recently about those things that I need to do to be able to live a happier, more satisfied life, unrelated to anything or anyone else. So I've been thinking about what makes me unique and worthwhile and as of late I often come up short on that list. Obviously this is hardly something I want to ask to other people, because no one likes people who fish for complements (but please feel free to supply some ideas! *fish, fish*)
So while I think that it was super inappropriate for the bus driver to yell at someone he just ran into, I think that his advice is rather interesting. How often do I do things that put me in hazardous situations before I take the time to look? I am, perhaps, overly spontaneous, and certainly very passionate. It is a critique I receive often from those who care about me most. However, I am generally too busy running headlong into new situations to stop and listen. While I think that this approach to life encourages me to be honest, and generally prevents me from scheming or being devious, I think it gets me into trouble. If I were more calculating I think I would end up in fewer situations that wind up hurting in the end. On the other hand, I like being passionate. So I need to find a balance. More than anything, I need to enjoy life the way it is now, not constantly looking forward or backward. Not developing so many expectations.
So where is that balance? Do I look first, like my bus driver said, or do I enjoy the present without worrying about the future?
I think that what I need to do is be aware of the possibilities, be ready for anything, and then not worry about it. There are so very many opportunities in life to be hurt, to be trodden down, if I were to worry about them all, I would never get out of bed in the morning! That is no way to live life. In the end, I think it is just an act of faith. What is meant to happen will happen. If I need to be a little bruised along the way, if I need to be hit by a few busses to learn the lessons I need to learn, so be it. I don’t need to understand why things happen, sure I might be more comfortable if I did know, but it is hardly necessary.
So here is the goal: look before you leap, to make sure all signs point to safety. Here is the key, though. Leap.
If I had to wait until I was one hundred percent positive that I would not hurt myself jumping into water, I would never have gone cliff jumping. And I would never give up that experience for the world. So if the symbolic water seems safe, go for it, jump in! If it doesn’t look safe, avoid it. If that guy tells you that they will hurt you, that they want to corrupt you, maybe you should listen, and stay safely on the cliff-side, or stop short to avoid getting hit by that bus. But what happens if you weren’t so cautious? Now look where you are… you just got hit by a freaking bus! What do you do?! I’d suggest you get up and ride away. You don’t need to be broken by it. Sure, I know you’re shaken, who wouldn’t be? But as soon as you can figure out which way is up, pick yourself up, and move on.
You are of infinite worth. Never, ever forget that.
<3
Abi
